Batman Parody

Many, many, many years ago I became friends with a young fella from 600 km or 373 miles distant Cologne (I think he was 18 or 19 at that time) and a woman (a lot older than the boy and married with child on top of that) who lived not very far from me after meeting them both in an internet forum for German-speaking comicfreaks.

As fate willed, those two eventually fell in "love" with each other (I often thought of them as Harold and Maude) but when the two finally met in real life, the boy - for obvious reasons - could hardly stay with his inamorata, so of course, tolerant as I am, I was willing to let him stay with me. Don't worry - I made sure nothing inappropriate happened between them. It ultimately remained a strictly platonic relationship.

The long and the short of it is that this guy - let's call him Shred Smiler - and I spent a very long night together with many discussions - and of course some of them also revolved around comics. One of those discussions was about Batman and how superior this figure appears compared to more powerful characters such as Superman - even though he has no real superpowers. Another topic was the sometimes "unconventional" drawing style of certain artists.

This in turn led to the idea of a Batman Parody that I now want to present you on this page. But I must point out that it is in German language. To help you understand it, I've put the english translation in the boxes next to the pictures (click to enlarge them).


Conceived and implemented by Mad Jack and Shred Smiler

(After a long night in which absolutely nothing happened!)

Gotham at night ...


"I guess I better give Batman a holler..."

Moments later in the cave:

Robin: "BATMAN! Don't you have seen the bat-signal out there? It's on for hours ..."
Batman: "Good thing you're here ... you could bring me a glass of lemonade!"
Robin: "As always... *tsk*"
Batman: "Nag, nag, nag! You should be glad that I let a teenager work for me altogether after that thing with Jason Todd. You're lucky that you have such a pretty face."
Robin: "Th-th-that would be a great compliment ... if only you wouldn't mumble that much. Just for once take your arm away from your mouth ..."

Batman: "NO! Robin must never discover my true secret - that I actually have a super power, which I use only as a secret weapon: super halitosis!"

Robin: "Okay then! As usual I won't say anything and just unexpectedly rush to help at the last moment ..."

Batman: "Good sidekick ..."

Alfred: "Oh! Indeed I think ... that the windows of the Batcave could use a cleaning, Sir!"

Bruce Wayne: "Get a move on, Alfred! Sometimes I wonder what I actually pay you for ..."

Shortly afterwards Batman is on his way to Gotham. But something is different this time ...

"Duck Avenger? - Batman speaking ... I think we mixed up our cars at the last Leather & Latex convention ..."
"Yes, we should straighten that up soon ... okay, I'm looking forward to it!"

But while Batman still vivaciously speaks on the phone, his cape gets caught on the column and nearly chokes him into unconsciousness. Subsequently he makes a mental note with some change requests for his tailor.

Commissioner Gordon: "Well, finally! Was about time you showed up. I'm waiting for hours!"
"Guess, who broke out of Arkham once again? This time there were two: Joker and Bane ...!"

"Well then, let's get down to the nitty-gritty ..."
"Although the Joker has gone into hiding, we were able to locate the hideout of Bane - here I wrote you down everything."


"How? What? Where? But there is nobody ... and that when I specially tried a new pose ..."
"And where is Gordon suddenly gone?"

"Tee-hee-hee. This time I turned the tables and I'm gone without him noticing it."

Joker: "Hahahahaha!!! While the flying rat is distracted, I sneak up behind him ... Hihihihihi!"

Batman: "HA! I am become as good and invincible, that I don't even notice when I defeat someone ..."
"Maybe I should change my name after all? I'm going to ask Superman if he cedes the rights for his to me."

While Batman is still deep in thought, from above a strange whistling sounds ...

"Listen! What strange sound does my trained to top performances sense of hearing perceive?"

And once again an eventful night in Gotham draws to an end.


Copyright © 2015 by M. Jack Schiltz. No use without permission!
Visualisation realized with HeroMachine3.